ashley. (_candyappleslut) wrote in creepy_butsexy,

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psychos, yay!

Woooot, time for creepy_butsexy psychos! That's just what I'm calling this. Not all the people in this post are really psychotic, or anything. Some of them are just weird, or bizarre, but some of them.. yeah, effing crazy.

There are major spoilers for just about everything in here, so.. beware. And this is a MASSIVE post. Not friendly to dialup users, or for work. Cus you wouldn't want your boss thinking YOU were crazy, now would you?

Okay, I've already done Ben, Jason Teague, and Jake Gray, but I don't care. They're crazy, they're beautiful, and I love them:

This is Ben, designation X5-493. Ben is a super-effing-hot genetically engineered killing machine. Well, the transgenetics were supposed to be training to be soldiers, but a group escaped in 2009, or something like that, and Ben for some reason, went absolutely fucking crazy and started capturing humans. Then he would release them just for the sheer pleasure of hunting them down and killing them. Sexy? Look at the picture. Creepy? Well, he likes to take the teeth of his victims. Oh, dear. Never fear. Ben has a clone. Alec, designation X5-494, who comes around in season two, and makes my life complete. xD

This is Jake Gray. He's beautiful, duh. He's a college student who starts playing this crazy-ass game called The Pathway, which is actually like.. a direct connect to Satan. Imagine if Hitler had the internet. Or if the devil had a Nextel. It's a lot like that. But without the annoying beep-beep noise. Yeah, so Jake has these friends, and they start dying after playing the game, and I don't want to give away the ending, so let's just say lots and lots of bad things happen [including this unfortunate plot, which changes like twelve times. :wince:] Let's just skip ahead, shall we?

This is Jake post-Satan-making-him-drink-his-foster-parents'-blood. One more look:

Yeah, just so we're clear. He's gone and drank his parents' blood. Tsk tsk. Ew. There are lots of other gross things in this movie, but I don't want to spoil it. Ah, who the hell cares? He dates Shannyn Sossamon and at some point, it comes out that he's the son of the Devil [who's a chick, go figure!] and then it comes out that Shannyn Sossamon is the Devil. Recap: He's been making out with his mom. Ewwwww. But then at the end, he's like, "Or maybe I'm just crazy and made it all up to cope with the fact that I did some naughty stuff." The movie was awful, but Jensen was incredible, so I can't really say much. Especially since I watched it three times. Not one, but THREE. I'm shallow enough to look past it. Plus, Dominique Swain, yanno. She totally rapes him in a computer chair. That was enough reason for me to watch anyway.

Smallville, season four.
Episode one: Crusade.

This is Jason Teague. He's beautiful. Haha, I could stop using that to describe him, but I WON'T. Bwa ah ah. He's Lana's boyfriend, whom she met while spending a summer in Paris. He's a total Mama's boy, but we don't know that until like near the end of season four. Okay, so beginning of season four...
End of season four: Commencement.

He's been hit in the face, shot in the shoulder, and fallen off a sixty-foot high cliff, into a watery ravine. "I'm having what you would call a rough day." To say the least. Okay, so he's all evil and, tries to kill the Kents. But they're saved when a meteor hits the house and the first episode of season five has Lana reading a newspaper article about Jason dying. And I'm shouting, NO JASON WHY? because tsk! his character had so much potential. But, there's hope yet. Because I've spent most of my childhood watching soap operas, there's always the chance [in my mind, and in the writers of Days of Our Lives and Passions, anyway] that he's not really dead. Because you know, if you don't see the body and cut off the head, they're pretty much guaranteed to come back. Sometimes even IF you cut off their head they come back. Duh, Jason from Friday the 13th. Jason and Jason? Coincidence? Probably! BUT! Lex has been known to take several of the previous Smallville villains into his secret LexCorp lair and house them for who knows what? I'm still waiting on the return of Mikhail Mxyzptlk, btw! It'll happen, just you wait.

Supernatural, season one, episode 6: Skin.

A shapeshifter, who's totally out of his mind, takes the form of Dean, and it's delightful.

From here.. there's no real order to anything, I'll just.. give them to you as I see them.

American Psycho, Patrick Bateman. [Christian Bale.]

Watch the movie. Love it. Do it. Those are direct orders.

Batman and Robin, Poison Ivy. [Uma Thurman.]

Quite possibly my favorite comic book villain of all time. EVAR. She's gorgeous. I'm determined to find a green leotard so that I can go to a comic convention dressed as her, and join all the rest of the loveable huggable gamerfunked geeks of the southeast.

Beetlejuice, Beetlegeuse. [Michael Keaton.]

When I was little, he was supposed to scare me. For some reason, he was intriguing. I loved him. I was a little freaked out by him, and my mom was worried for my sanity when I told her that I loved him to death. I think she's still a little concerned for my mental wellbeing today, come to think of it.

Boltneck: Karl O'Reilly/Skeeter Wayne Dobbs. [Ryan Reynolds]
Okay, so Karl O'Reilly is a sessy sessy goth kid high school student, played by Ryan Reynolds. He's quiet, shy, and unpopular.

Karl is pushed into an empty pool and killed. :( Sad day!! Then Frank Stein [as played by Matthew Lawrence], says he can resurrect him, and steals an abnormal brain from his father's neurology research center. This brain is from an ex-serial killer, who died recently. So, before:

And after:

Ryan Reynolds you hurt me, you're so beautiful.

Amityville Horror, George Lutz. [Ryan Reynolds.]

Need I say ANYTHING?

Blade 3, Hannibal King. [Ryan Reynolds.]

Hannibal King used to be a vampire, but now he hunts them with Wesley Snipes and Jessica Alba. Not bad. The movie was, but hey, I can look past it just long enough to read King's nametag, which if you were interested says, "Hello, my name is FUCK YOU." How about a shirtless one for good measure?

Bully, Bobby Kent. [Nick Stahl.]

Bully is the true story of this group of kids in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida in the early 90s, who decide to off the asshole of the group. Written by the genius behind Kids, Larry Clark, of course the casting was incredible and made all these kids attractive. [IRL, they were most definitely NOT.] Anyway, Nick Stahl makes me tingly all over.

Fight Club, Narrator/"Jack." [Edward Norton.]

Nothing better than an insomniac with split personalities...

Fight Club, Tyler Durden. [Brad Pitt.]

...Unless this is your split personality, in which case, there's nothing hotter than THAT.

Girl Interrupted, Lisa Rowe. [Angelina Jolie.]

What a gorgeous sociopath. I love her. She's beautiful. She scares me. She's perfect.

Interview With A Vampire, Claudia. [Kirsten Dunst.]

Claudia is a little girl who was dying of the Plague when Louis found her, and drank her. Lestat turned her, and she became incredibly evil. She's adorable, though. I love her. And her ringlets.

Interview With A Vampire, Louis. [Brad Pitt.]

Le swoon! This is what got me into vampires. This and Gary Oldman and the three sisters in Dracula. Louis, you torture me. Not literally, duh. He's a nice vampire. :goofy smile:

Queen of the Damned, Lestat. [Stuart Townsend.]
Okay, look. I hate Tom Cruise. I've always hated Tom Cruise. Even before the crazy Scientology and impregnating Joey Potter. He just always freaked me out. SO. Hotter Lestat:

Don't deny.

Smallville, Lex Luthor. [Michael Rosenbaum.]

Hottest megalomaniac ever? Close to, if not completely. I love him. And as weird as it sounds, he's got a really nicely shaped head. Most people cannot pull it off, but hey. He does it wonderfully.

Murder By Numbers, Richard Haywood. [Ryan Gosling.]

Murder By Numbers is about Ryan Gosling and Michael Pitt being very bored rich kids, and they decide to kill someone. Justin [Michael Pitt] isn't all about it, really, he's just the brains behind the muscle. It was just an idea he had. Richard is the one that is pretty out of his mind, and really wants to. I stand behind Justin 100%. I mean, honestly. Who hasn't thought about killing someone at some point or another?

Pirates of the Caribbean, Jack Sparrow. [Johnny Depp.]

He's not all there. And oddly enough, I like him best that way! Pirates? Johnny Depp? Put the two together, and you've got a winning combo that melts me from the knees up.

Psycho, Norman Bates. [Vince Vaughn.]

Something about Vince Vaughn always kind of creeps me out- in the best possible way, of course- and Psycho was my most obvious choice for this post.

Reservoir Dogs, Mr. Blond/Vick Vega. [Michael Madsen.]

Ah, yes. Must I even mention the torture scene?

Scream, Billy Loomis. [Skeet Ulrich.]

The first half of the killers in Scream. I had lusty-wrong feelings about him from the second I watched this movie. And it kind of makes me suspicious of any guy I date, to be completely honest.

Scream, Stu Macher. [Matthew Lillard.]

Second half! Oh Matthew Lillard. You crazy bitch. ♥

Scream 2, Mickey. [Timothy Olyphant.]

One half of the Scream 2 killers. I loved him, too.

Se7en, Detective David Mills. [Brad Pitt.]

He's not crazy, but what the hell, right? I just like lookin' at him.

Se7en, John Doe. [Kevin Spacey.]

He's the one carrying out all the gruesome murders, and he even cuts the flesh off of his fingertips so as not to be identified. Genius. Pure, maniacal genius.

The Secret Window, Mort Rainey. [Johnny Depp.]

Sure hope I'm not spoiling anything for you guys, but he's really out of his fucking mind. But he looks great doin' it, so whatev!

Serial Mom, Beverley Sutphin. [Kathleen Turner.]

Oddly enough, this was one of my favorite movies when I was like six or seven. I was a morbid happy child. Go figure. Beverley Sutphin is a suburban housewife, living a life of perfection, and she snaps! one day and starts killing people for the most mundane reasons. [Stop chewing gum! Stop cheating on my daughter! WEAR YOUR SEATBELT!!] Hey, man. Whatever, she was a badass.

Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal Lector. [Anthony Hopkins.]

I know, I know, he's totally old, but I love him. I could never think of him sexually, but there is something sensual about him in this movie. He's so eloquent and well-mannered before he decides to eat your face. I'd hang out with him. [If I had a death wish.]

Slackers, Cool Ethan. [Jason Schwartzman.]

Cool Ethan is out of his mind. Forreal. He's not psychotic, I don't think, but he's still really weird.
Is that a hair doll?-Angela
It fell out of your hair that way!! -Ethan

Sleepy Hollow, The Headless Horseman. [Christopher Walken.]

I can honestly say that he scares the shit out of me. Obviously, moreso when he gets his head back. But he's Christopher Walken, and he's ALWAYS creepy_butsexy to me. Don't ask me why. I'm starting to believe I've got some deep-seated emotional issues.

Spun: [Note: none of the following characters are crazy, just effed up on some serious Meth, and it makes them SEEM insane.]

^Nikki, Brittany Murphy.

^Ross, Jason Schwartzman.

^Spider Mike, John Leguizamo.

^Cookie, Mena Suvari.

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, Anakin Skywalker. [Hayden Christensen.]

Our favorite good boy gone bad. He was so beautiful. Tsk. It takes so much out of me to watch this movie, because I spend two hours dreading the end, where he falls into a volcano after having a few other limbs sliced off. :sigh!: But you'll notice, that those gorgeous eyelashes, somehow manage to stay on even after he combusts.

Swimfan, Madison Bell. [Erika Christensen.]

Stalker much? Hot much? Jealous much? Yeahp.

The Craft, Nancy. [Fairuza Balk.]

Another girl out of her mind. This one has an unfair advantage, however, as she's a super powerful witch. Uh.. yay?

The Talented Mr. Ripley, Tom Ripley. [Matt Damon.]

It hurts me to put him in this category because I just loved him so much. And man, Jude Law was askin' for it!! I'd have killed him, too. :sigh!: It wasn't until the end I realized that there was no helping this boy.

White Oleander, Ingrid Magnussen. [Michelle Pfieffer.]

I loved her so much. Especially in the book. She's cold, and seemingly unfeeling, and a little crazy, but hey, she's an artist. Aren't all artists just a little bit crazy? Regardless. She was brilliant. "Love humiliates you. Hatred cradles you." -Ingrid.

Kill Bill, The Bride. [Uma Thurman.]

So, she wasn't crazy, as much as vengeful, but she's still GORGEOUS, so deal with it.

Kill Bill: Volume One, Gogo Yubari. [Chiaki Kuriyama.]

Now this one IS crazy. And check her out.

Whoaaaa, big post. And there's more to come. This is just the psychos. I've still got stoners, cartoons and underaged boys to go through. Haha. Oh, I need therapy.

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